Family visiting should be stressful, or maybe it shouldn't? I wouldn't know, because it always has me on edge. Tomorrow my mother is visiting and I have a mixture of emotions going on here. There's a huge part of me that wants everything to work and for the visit to go smoothly, but the rational side of me has a huge wall up that I don't want to let down because I know I'll be disappointed again, right? I need to reset my thinking, try to be positive. I want her to see D again and meet the twins, I do. I want them to know two grandmas. But being hurt so many times by empty promises it is hard for me to get passed my own shit for the sake of the kids. I'll work on it, let's hope I survive the weekend...
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