Nonsense

There will be no way I can comprehend what makes a person snap and take the lives of not just one, but many. There is certainly no way I can begin to comprehend what makes a person take the lives of children. The shooting that happened in CT a week ago has taken a while to sink in. Every story is just too sad, and to be perfectly honest, I have had to shut a lot of it down and not try to take it in. The only thing that any of the victims and their families did that day was get up, get ready, maybe some breakfast, and a drop off at school. As a parent, it is so unthinkable that would be the last kiss goodbye you give your child, the one where you send them off for their day to play and learn. One story out of all of the nonsense has really stung and that is of the youngest victim, who was a twin, who was survived by his sister. I think about this every night I tuck my twins in good night, and my little L has to lean over his sister's crib and pat her had to tell her 'nigh 'nigh. I have to think a part of that little girl will forever be missing from her loss. How do you explain to her what happened, why it happened. Is she too young to know and understand? She is too young to need to know and to understand. Here's a link to a blog written about a token of remembrance that a group of twin parents I belong to who put forth an effort to remember one of our own: Something Good (you may need to scroll)

The other part of this horrible tragedy I cannot comprehend is why people are praying to god? IF, and I use a big if here, if there were a god, how did he/she/it let this happen? The person that did committed this heinous act was of "his" creation, was he a mistake? Let's just say yes, or no, whatever. How, if there is a god, how in the fuck did he let so many innocent kids be taken? You can pray for the victim's families, but I really hope it's not to god. If I had a god, there's many things he/she/it would not do, a short list would be: taking children's lives before their time, cancer, have me worship him while dressed up every week.

I love my kids so much, and part of loving them is knowing it's okay for me to get upset when they act out, have a bad night, fight me at every turn of the way. I am thankful that I have the opportunity every day to get angry, happy, sad, mad, and filled with pride, because so many others out there would trade a limb to be able to be mad or upset with their child one last time. The heels of writing this last section comes after a particularly trying night of three little ones who must have said that naps are not for them yesterday, so instead we'll come home and torture mommy and daddy. But more to my point, before I stray any further, is that I am so happy for every day that my children have given me to make my time brighter and better. If there's any lesson to take away from Newtown, CT it is to love your kids, make every moment count, the good, the bad, the hard. Be strong for your kids, teach them right from wrong, love them unconditionally but know it's okay to put conditions on their actions when they are  bad or wrong. But most of all, love them.