Laying it out there

So, as a lot of you reading know now, Sean was laid off last week. It's only now that I feel comfortable writing anything. And even now I will be censored to a degree, because this is public, and you never know who is reading. Lame, I know.
I hinted from even late last year, we suspected there would be layoffs, and knew for sure I was going to be one of them. You can bet our surprise when we found out last Wednesday, that it was not me. I guess with 2 members of a family in a small company, your odds go from 1/48 to 2/48 out of 400 of being reduced. Sure, we're amongst the only couple effected, but whatever (there may have been one other). Anyways, here is my take on the whole process. I will stress this, and cannot stress this enough; these are my thoughts, my opinions, only mine. This is MY blog so it's all about me..ME! After an AHM with our CEO today and getting answers to some burning questions, I can safely say that my attitude on fixing a potential problem is not the same method as theirs. Knowing that cuts need to be made as a precautionary mesaure, I'd have like to see other options explored in order to save my neighbor's job (or husband in this case). I'd have looked at a reduced work week, a pay cut, cutting out increases and bonuses, not cutting out people. I think we send the wrong message. I am a victim, and I will borrow a word that puts a finger on my feelings that I heard the CEO use today, of survivor's guilt. I hate seeing coworkers that have been here as much as 5x longer than I have been there, lose their jobs. It jsut doesn't seem fair. To hear these cuts were performance based, gives me something to accept. Okay, you did a bad job, you are out. To be "proactive" at this stage, I find premature. What if it is uncalled for and all the speculation is for nothing? Do you admit you made a mistake and acted too fast, or do you then admit you cut some fat that prehaps you wanted to cut for a while? I'm not sure of the motivation behind a lot of the positions eliminated.
Anyways, other things on how it effects, you guessed it, ME:

• I'm jealous. This may sound like an incredibley stupid remark. I'm jealous that this means new starts for those 48 cuts, but I'm only focusing on 1. If things get worse before better, we cancel daycare, and who gets time with the baby? Hint: not ME.
• I have lost my carpool. This hit I am reminded of daily. From day one, working here was based on the advantage of having a carpool. Already since last Wednesday, I've filled up my gas tank a day earlier because of extended commuting and the loss of carpool lane. This hits the wallet.
• Cutbacks: being "proactive" we're starting to look at areas we spend money on and what we can cut back on. Here is the leaders so far: Netflix (scaled odwn our account), DirecTV (will cancel pay channels), house phone (possible elimination), car insurance (bare minimum on the Cav). Other things will be monitoring things like eating out and frivalous purchases.
• I'll soon be the only one making a regular paycheck. That is just scary.
• I have to go back to box color for my hair!
  

Now, all this being said, let me add this. Sean is very optomistic on finding something new. He's exploring every netowrking venue, taking up offers on every one who extended the hand to help out. He's searching for jobs and applying. We're very hopeful this is just a temporary situation and that things will change, and soon. Moving on and up to bigger and better!